Back in Touch - Volume 8, 25 August 2021
The President's Pen
Two big events this week that are extremely pleasing.
Firstly, the beautiful rain. Much needed after a couple of relatively dry months. No doubt the pesty weeds will start to poke their ugly heads up soon but little do they know we are in lockdown, so I have a little extra time to deal with them.
Secondly, NSW reached the 6 million vaccine jab target ahead of time. It’s great to see so many stepping up. There is hope on the horizon, something we can all look forward to.
Let’s continue to focus on the positives as we work our way through the current challenges. ~ Steve Morton
Oh The Fabulous 70s
Because We Need to Laugh ...
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors, and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The second-floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.
The third-floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it."
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Meanwhile, across the street, a new Wives Store has recently opened. The first floor has wives that love romance. The second floor has wives that love romance and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited..... ~ thanks Bruce Edgell
Beauty in the Desert
Nature at its very best despite no rain and a harsh environment. Jean Wehrle writes “Western Australia is alive with beautiful blooms right now; this one is unique. Sadly, it appears that again this year we will miss out on seeing them, our second annual disappointment due to Covid. We have bookings to travel via Indian pacific early September and return flight early October. The travel company hadn’t yet conceded defeat, but we are of the firm opinion that it won’t happen. Oh well, we are just one of many, many proposed travellers who are in isolation abiding by strict restrictions. We are all in this together…….”.
Grandma Keeps Fit
Birthday Month -August
Something new. Chris Stewart has suggested we include a Monthly Birthdays List. A great opportunity to perhaps contact one of the members celebrating their joyous day. Many, many happy returns to all these goods folks and any I may have missed
Kevin Dunn, Jean Hatcher, Julia Sugden, Rodica Ionita, Bernard Bell, Bruce Edgell, Julia Stenton, Annette Donohoe, Lynne Macdonald, Ruth Webster, Chris Stewart, Steve Morton, Robyn Hall, Bruce Deer, Brenda Hutcheson, and Jenny McNeil
I hope you all have or will have a fantastic day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
I strike a key and type a word
And weight for it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a wei
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I’m sure your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer told me sew.
Only a Knee Replacement
Don't You Just Love Kids
TEACHER: JOHNNY, what is the chemical formula for water?
JOHNNY: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
~ thanks Bruce Edgell
In Closing ...
They say, “Laughter is the BEST medicine”. It has great mental and physical benefits. Try it out and see for yourself. Until the next edition, stay safe and healthy.
Steve Morton: email@example.com
Pauline Kelly: firstname.lastname@example.org