Back in Touch – Volume 7

Back in Touch - Volume 7, 16 August 2021

The President’s Pen

An overwhelmingly positive response to BiT migrating onto our website has been uplifting. Additionally, input from members continues to flow in. Thanks to one and all for your continued support.

For me, three essential components of health and wellbeing are Family, Friends and Community. All are intertwined and generally greatly assist us in navigating through life’s ups and downs. In difficult times, like we are currently experiencing, continue to keep up your contacts with these connections. A combination of these will be the elixir that provides the strength to better protect you both physical and mentally.

Certainly, through U3A (via Zoom, or reading BiT or just picking up the phone and calling a fellow member), know you will always have friends and community who care about you.

Let’s keep happy and healthy.

~ Steve Morton

Great Aussie Humour

  • Don't let them take your temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer.
  • It's a five-minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a thirty-five-minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
  • I got myself a seniors' GPS. Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, but it also tells me why I wanted to go there. ~ thanks Robyn Hall

Because We Need to Laugh ...

High 5 for Grandma

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."

Should Have Been a Ukelele!

That's My U3A

“U3A gives us all a connection to each other, friendships you probably wouldn’t have made if not for joining U3A!  I, personally, have met so many lovely people since retiring from the school where I worked in Hamilton, people who have experience from all different walks of life, it is so interesting to hear their stories.

We are also a network of friends who can be there if things go wrong, which they do sometimes.”  Thanks Kath Auchterlonie, for your positivity and commitment to our association.

A Live Mousetrap

This Black-shouldered Kite is calling Cooranbong home for the time-being. It posed beautifully for Maurice Ashton, our IT Officer and Bird Photography Leader, the other morning. I’m sure the folks out west, who are currently plagued with mice, would warmly welcome these birds to their area.

Crazy People?

Please be careful because people are going crazy from being locked down at home! I was just talking about this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my tea, and we all agreed that things are getting bad.

I didn’t mention any of this to the washing machine because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly, couldn’t share with the fridge, cause he’s been acting cold and distant!

In the end, the iron straightened me out! She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out!

The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up! But the fan was VERY optimistic and gave me hope that it will all blow over soon!

The toilet looked a bit flushed but didn’t say anything when I asked its opinion, but the front door said I was becoming unhinged, and the doorknob told me to get a grip!! You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they told me to “pull myself together!”

We will survive!!      ~ thanks Bruce Edgell

U3A Book Project Invitation

“Holy Crap - What ARE They Doing Now”

All U3A members in NSW are invited to contribute to this U3A Book Project:

 Thank you to those members whose contributions have already been received.  Please be advised the book’s focus is on positive ageing and that it may in some way help counteract the ageism so prevalent in our society today. This project has been initiated by U3A members Beth Elliott and Laurene Mulcahy independent of any association they may have with a particular U3A in order to maintain strict non-bias. All contributions will be acknowledged.

What’s required:

  • Stories/vignettes focussing on the positive, the funny and U3A member life experiences.
  • Your name, a short bio of yourself and the U3A you are a member of.
  • Contributions to be kept to a maximum of 2,000 words/2 pages due to printing costs.
  • Please use Times New Roman 12 point
  • The book will be launched at the Newcastle Writers Festival 10th anniversary in April 2022
  • The deadline for contributions is 30 November 2021. However, it would be appreciated if you could send your contributions sooner rather than later.

If you are interested in participating in this exciting project, send/email your contribution to:

Beth Elliott, Editor, U3A Book Project
Enquiries by email or phone 0418 478 222

Don't You Just Love Kids!

TEACHER: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

JOHNNY: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.    ~ thanks Bruce Edgell

In Closing ...

Apart from some beautiful days weatherwise, not a lot of positives in the last week. Our lockdown was extended and as of Saturday, the entire state went into lockdown.

Hopefully this will be the STEP CHANGE that turns our “Seeking Normality” ship around.

Just keep all our government officials, medical staff, first responders, police etc in our thoughts and prayers. Life cannot be easy for them and yet they are out there doing a fantastic job in assisting us through these very difficult and challenging times.

In closing, why not seriously consider sitting down and putting a few life experience words together and be part of the Book Project.


Steve Morton
Pauline Kelly


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